Grief is a natural response to loss, and it can be one of the most painful and disorienting experiences a person goes through. There’s no single way to grieve and no set timeline. For some people, though, grief stays intense or feels stuck in a way that makes daily life hard to manage. Working with a psychologist can offer a steady, supportive space to make sense of a loss at your own pace.
Veronica West is a registered psychologist (BPsychSc(Hons), MPH, MPsych) based on the Sunshine Coast, Queensland. She works with adults and adolescents across Australia via secure telehealth, including people living with grief and loss, whether recent or longstanding. She has completed advanced training in EMDR and is registered with the EMDR Association of Australia (EMDRAA), which can be helpful where a loss was sudden or traumatic.
What Is Grief?
Grief is the response to losing someone or something significant. It’s most often associated with the death of a person, but it can follow many kinds of loss, including the end of a relationship, a serious health diagnosis, the loss of a pregnancy, the death of a pet, or major life changes such as losing a job or a sense of identity.
Grief affects people emotionally, physically, mentally, and socially. It can come in waves, ease and return, and show up in ways that are hard to predict. There’s no correct way to grieve and no fixed timeline for it.
Common Signs of Grief
Grief looks different for everyone. It can include:
- Waves of sadness, longing, or emptiness
- Difficulty concentrating, remembering things, or making decisions
- Changes to sleep, appetite, or energy
- Feeling numb, detached, or as though the loss isn’t real
- Guilt, anger, regret, or relief, sometimes all at once
- Withdrawing from people or activities you used to value
- Physical symptoms such as tightness in the chest, fatigue, or aches
When Grief Becomes Prolonged or Complicated
For most people, the intensity of grief gradually softens over time, even though the loss remains. For some, grief stays severe and persistent in a way that interferes with daily life for an extended period. This is sometimes called prolonged or complicated grief, and it’s now recognised as prolonged grief disorder in the DSM-5-TR and ICD-11.
Signs can include intense longing that doesn’t ease, difficulty accepting the loss, feeling that life has lost meaning, or being unable to re-engage with daily life, many months after the loss. Grief can also become harder to process when the loss was sudden, traumatic, or complicated by difficult circumstances. Therapy can help in these situations, at a pace that feels manageable.
How Psychology Can Help With Grief
Therapy doesn’t aim to remove grief or speed it up. Loss is a part of life, and grief is a natural response to it. What therapy can offer is a steady, supportive space to feel what you’re feeling, make sense of the loss, and find ways to carry it while continuing to live a meaningful life.
Depending on what you’re experiencing, therapy might focus on processing the loss, working through difficult emotions such as guilt or anger, adjusting to the changes the loss has brought, or finding ways to stay connected to what matters. Where a loss was sudden or traumatic, more structured trauma-focused work may be helpful.
Therapeutic Approaches
The approach depends on what you’re experiencing and is decided together. It may draw on:
- Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT): making room for grief while staying connected to what matters and the life you want to keep building.
- Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT): working with patterns of thinking, guilt, or avoidance that can keep grief feeling stuck.
- Grief-focused and supportive therapy: a space to talk through the loss, remember, and adjust at your own pace.
- Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR): where a loss was sudden or traumatic, EMDR can help process distressing memories connected to it.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is grief?
Grief is the natural response to losing someone or something significant. It most often follows the death of a person, but it can also follow other losses, such as the end of a relationship, a health diagnosis, the loss of a pregnancy, or major life change. Grief affects people emotionally, physically, and socially, and can come in waves.
Is there a normal length of time for grief?
No. There’s no fixed timeline for grief and no correct way to grieve. The intensity usually softens over time for most people, even though the loss remains. If grief stays severe and continues to interfere with daily life for an extended period, it can be helpful to talk with a psychologist.
When should I consider seeing a psychologist about grief?
There’s no requirement to be struggling in a particular way to seek support. It can be worth reaching out if grief feels overwhelming, stays intense for a long time, makes it hard to function day to day, or if the loss was sudden or traumatic. Support can be useful at any stage, not only when things feel unmanageable.
What is prolonged grief disorder?
Prolonged grief disorder is a recognised condition in the DSM-5-TR and ICD-11. It describes grief that remains intense and persistent well beyond what is expected, in a way that interferes with daily life. Signs can include enduring longing, difficulty accepting the loss, and feeling that life has lost meaning. It is assessed by a qualified health professional.
Do I need a referral to start?
No referral is needed to begin therapy. If you’d like to access a Medicare rebate, you’ll need a Mental Health Treatment Plan from your GP. You can find current fee and funding information on the fees and funding page. For a fuller breakdown of what seeing a psychologist costs across Australia, see how much it costs to see a psychologist.
If you’re considering support for grief or loss, you’re welcome to get in touch. You can read more about how Veronica works on the therapy page, or make contact through the contact page. There’s no pressure to have the right words or to know where to begin.
If you’re not sure whether what you’re feeling needs professional support, grief and loss: when to see a psychologist walks through the signs.
If you are in crisis or need urgent support, this service is not an emergency service. Please contact Lifeline on 13 11 14, or call 000 in an emergency.